The Way of the Superior Man
The Way of the Superior Man is more relevant than ever. New styles of sexual expression are emerging as old roles for men and women are rapidly dissolving. In this new world, women are taking the lead. Men, no longer the sole breadwinner or the most purpose-driven member of the household, are rediscovering their worth, both in the world and in relationship.
When a man’s value is no longer measured by what he does, by his finances or social standing, how does he determine his worth?
In our new world, a man’s presence—his depth of awareness—is his most valuable asset.
A man’s worth can be found in his depth of being. A shallow man, easily perturbed and swayed, is worth less to his woman and his world than a man whose presence is deeply sourced. A profound and steady gaze conveys truth more than furtive eyes. Full, even breathing is trusted more than shallow, jittery gasps. A man grounded in the unfathomable mystery of life, in touch with death’s vastness—rather than merely flitting from one busy surface activity to another—is sourced in his depth.
All men tend to have blocks in the front of their body, along an imaginary line that runs from the top of the head, through the tongue, throat, heart, solar plexus, navel, and genitals, down to the perineum.
The Way of the Superior Man is the way of deep gaze, breath, and purpose. It cannot be faked. Right now, you are knowing who you are at depth or you are avoiding it. You are relaxing and embodying your soul’s purpose on earth or you are resisting your calling. You are cultivating a steady “yes” toward this moment, even in the midst of death’s ever-present mystery, or you are afraid to feel all and live as unknowable openness.
Fear is lack of trust in now. Fear is saying “no” to some aspect of the present moment. The Way of the Superior Man is the way of cultivating total trust in the reality that is living you right now. However vast it may be, reality is happening now, and it includes you. Feel what is, as it is, without resisting the boundless whole. Feeling all, saying “yes” to the entire now, you will know who you are.
Your woman and your world long for the authentic power of your awakened heart offered through your whole body.
Breathe Down the Front
When you get nervous, your stomach tightens. When you are saddened, a lump forms in your throat. When you are threatened, your solar plexus feels queasy. When you think hard, your forehead wrinkles. When you consider the unsure future, you tense your jaw. For much of the day, you are tightening, tensing, and contracting the front of your body, from the top of your head, through your chest, and all the way down past your gut.
Feel what is, as it is, without resisting the boundless whole. Feeling all, saying “yes” to the entire now, you will know who you are.
The front of your body, especially your belly, is the place where your energy meets the energy of the world. When the front of your body is open and relaxed, your power flows freely, and your presence fills the room. You’ve proba- bly been with people who seem to occupy more space in the room than most people. They seem to command attention, even though they are not doing anything obvious to attract it. The front of their body is so open that their energy flows freely through the room, magnifying their presence.
Such people are remarkably relaxed, poised, and attentive. They are not all wrapped up in their own self-concern, hunched over a sunken chest, gritting their teeth, and hardly breathing. This is the picture of a closed belly and chest. If the front of your body has accumulated tension, throughout the day and throughout the years, you will hardly be able to sit up straight. Your belly and chest will be tight. Your thoughts will center on yourself. Your energy will remain constricted in your head and your awareness limited to self-concern. Your powerful presence won’t fill the room at all. You might not even be noticed.
Right now, notice your breath. Are you inhaling so deeply you feel your genitals bulging slightly? Is your belly rising and falling with your inhale and exhale, like a mighty bellows? Your belly and lower abdomen are special places of power. If your breath does not reach these areas, you can’t recharge your batteries. You will feel weak and unsure of yourself. Your effect in the world will be minimal, less than your full potential.
Inhale deeply, through your nose, and breathe through whatever tensions you notice in your body. Inhale deeply into your lower belly. Then exhale. On your next inhalation, breathe into your lower and upper belly. Then exhale. On your next inhalation, fill your entire belly, then your solar plexus and lower chest. Then exhale. Then inhale and fill your belly, solar plexus, and your entire chest, in that order. For several breaths, inhale fully in this way, filling your belly, solar plexus, and finally your chest. Then exhale fully, slowly, and smoothly.
Throughout the day, practice this kind of breathing in random moments. Pay special attention to any part of your body that seems particularly tense or closed. For instance, if the area around your navel seems tight, then inhale into that area. Literally inhale right into that area and open it with the force of your inhaled breath. Like filling a balloon, you can stretch open the entire front of your body with your inhale. In this way, you counter the effects of accumulated fear and anxiety stored in your body, which diminish your presence and force in the world. Throughout the day, as soon as you feel tension in the front of your body, inhale into that area and open it.
Your breath is a primary expression of your personal energy. Therefore, your breath is one of the primary ways to give your gift to the world. You can use your breath to open other people’s knots of tension, just as you open your own.
The main way you generate bodily tension is by turning your attention back on yourself in self-concern, curling into yourself so tightly you feel all knotted up. Therefore, the main cure is to give yourself to others. Whenever you notice that you are mulling over your own problems, knotting energy into your body as tension, take that energy and create a gift for others. It could be as simple as doing the dishes in the sink, or as complex as building a business that will benefit others. Convert into service the energy that is knotting up the front of your body. Your tension is only the energy of a gift that has become backed up, unexpressed, in your body.
Your breath is a primary expression of your personal energy. Therefore, your breath is one of the primary ways to give your gift to the world. You can use your breath to open other people’s knots of tension, just as you open your own. Suppose you are with a person who seems a little tense. You can allow yourself to feel his tensions, and then inhale into his tensions, just as if they were yours. Inhale and open his tensions with the force of your inhalation. Then, exhale and release all tensions, yours and his. Inhale and open his knots with the force of your breath, then exhale and release all contraction, leaving only relaxation and love. All of this occurs without any physical contact. In fact, he probably won’t have any idea that you are doing anything unusual whatsoever.
You could do this practice at work, with your lover, or with a whole crowd on a bus. If you are alone in your home, you could imagine all the tension in the world and inhale the force of life into this tension to open it up. Then exhale, releasing the tension into love to be dissolved, like a handful of salt released into the ocean. By practicing this form of breathing, you uncurl your attention from yourself, alleviating the knots of contraction in the front of your own body. And at the same time, you assume your true status as servant to others, who also, in their own way, are serving you.
These kinds of practices may seem odd to some people. But before you write such practices off as whimsical hokiness, try them. Do them, and find out the results for yourself. The next time you are in a meeting with others, inhale into the front of your body and open all the knots, letting your force expand out into the room as a blessing, feeling all stress dissolve in the ocean of love on your exhale. Feeling the unease of others, open their knots with the force of your inhale, and then let the knots dissolve with the release of your exhale. Pervade the room with your conscious loving in this way.
Even now, in this moment, inhale down into the front of your body, fully expanding your belly and opening your solar plexus and heart. Allow your fullness of force to expand outward, through the room and beyond the room, so as to pervade all others with the conscious force of your breath. Make love with the world in this way, all day, pervading and dissolving all unease. Feel the world against your body like a naked woman, vulnerable and alive, and allow the front of your body to press into and through the world’s body, liberating the knots of accumulated pain.
Also, when sexually embracing your woman, use your breath to open her body and heart, in exactly the same way. Fill her with the force of your loving, inhaling down through the front of her body as if it were yours, filling her genitals, belly, and heart with love energy. Then exhale, and let both of you dissolve in the ocean of your loving. Always pervade through her with your breath, inhaling and exhaling, so that her tension and closure dissolve in the force of your loving, and you dissolve in the giving.