Rage, selfishness, and domination are not qualities of real men.
I can remember the day, many years ago, when I first learned that my (fake) “male” tendency to want to fix everything is not something that is helpful in a relationship with a woman.
“Surely if I could fix all of her problems, we could be happy.” That’s what my mind said to itself. It thought it was pretty smart for knowing such things.
But my mind was clueless. My experience showed me that my mind had mastered the ability to think stupid thoughts and still feel smart.
Luckily, the Universe saw fit to put a few resources in my path to show me a better way. One of those was David Deida’s book, Way of the Superior Man. If you’re a man, or if you think you’re a man, or if you hope to be a man someday, it’s a valuable resource to read.
That book was the first time I encountered such a simple summary of the difference between the masculine and feminine:
- The masculine is the silent void able to remain present in any circumstance.
- The feminine is the wave that never stops flowing.
My quest to figure out what it meant to be a real man began on that day.
On this quest, I discovered that, when it comes to the feminine wave, Mr. Fix-It is not attractive. He is not invited to the party. And should he show up and force his way in, he will be shown the door… after he ruins everything.
The feminine wave is not to be fixed, it is to be witnessed by a man with the capacity to stand in its power.
Soon after beginning this quest, the other thing I learned was that I didn’t actually know any real men.
This is how the Matrix designed it, of course. For a world filled with real men would not tolerate the reality we have today.
- There is no injustice where real men are present.
- There is no oppression where real men stand guard.
- There is no unnecessary violence or evil where real men live in honor and integrity.
But becoming that type of a being is not what boys are taught. The qualities of real men have been contaminated with a poison to transform their core parts. That counterfeit recipe is given a name with a connotation so bad that no one would ever consider pursuing it. That name is toxic masculinity.
Surely if I could fix all of her problems, we could be happy.
In this world of toxic masculinity, everything is upside down.
- Power transforms into rage.
- Direction transforms into selfishness.
- Strength transforms into domination.
Rage, selfishness, and domination are not qualities of real men. They are a type of “fencing” that has been erected around the ideal of the real man so that no young boy discovers what he is capable of becoming.
The world does not applaud real men, it does everything in its power to destroy them.