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10 Points To Remember About Birth

By Binnie A. Dansby

1.) Be with people who think you can do it. Keep numbers to a minimum, and limit it to people with whom you are familiar.

2.) Labor is active. Keep moving as long as you can. I don’t mean you have to keep standing; just be as normal as possible, moving and being in positions that are comfortable. When you have a contraction, lean forward on someone or the wall or a chair. Being on your hands and knees is a good position to try: The majority of the women who have given birth with me have done so on their hands and knees.

3.) You know your body better than anyone, and if you “listen in,” you will know exactly what to do…even when you think you don’t. Ask your partner or support person to remind you of this, and to see to it that you are asked before anyone makes a decision about what you “should” do. Slow down. Take your time. You can also take the time to “listen in” to your baby.

4.) Don’t try to be strong. Talk about how you are feeling and what you are thinking. When you can access your feelings, whatever they are, you can then use the energy however you choose. Make the sounds that are comfortable for you. You and your baby are the ones who matter, the ones everyone is there to support!

5.) Breathing is very helpful; holding your breath is not. You will know how to breathe, for you. Keep relaxing your jaw and opening your throat, and pay attention to your breath. “As above, so below”: The mouth and jaw and throat represent the pelvis and the birth canal. It is enough to pay attention above; below is perfectly designed to birth a baby.

6.) You always have a choice about what you say out loud, no matter how your body is feeling. “No” causes the body to contract, and “yes” causes the body to open. It may sound silly, but saying “yes” and “thank you” with a contraction will help you stay focused on what is really important. I have seen it seem to work miracles.

7.) Your baby is fully conscious and educable, which means that he is listening and communicating telepathically. Talk to him. Let him know what is happening for you. Under all circumstances, make sure that anything that is done to him is explained to him first. If you haven’t already, take some time each day to listen to your baby. Remember that this being loves you, beyond anything that you can even imagine. Your job is to open yourself to receive all the love he has for you and your partner. That is all he wants, and all he will ever want.

8.) After the birth, see to it that you and your baby are together, or that she is with your partner. Make sure that you receive nurturing and support in physical forms. The baby and you are one unit; that doesn’t change just because she is outside now. This doesn’t mean that you can’t put her down. Just know you need your baby as much as she needs you. You need to be cared for, so that you can give what is needed.

9.) Choose an overall focus for yourself for the birth. Expansion is one that I know has been very successful. Another woman chose to think of her labor and birth as a sensual, sexual experience. Opening like a flower is wonderful. Pictures of roses and lotuses in full bloom are helpful. What images and aromas give you a sense of completion and wholeness and comfort?

10.) Allow yourself to receive all the love and support around you. Make clear choices and then trust that you make the right choices for you and your family. You deserve to be surrounded by people who are listening to you and the baby, people who are supporting you in having an empowered, enlightening experience. There is no right or wrong way, if you are listening to yourself and to your body. You have everything that you need. Have an innocent, ecstatic time. I love you!