Turning Inward: A Love Letter to My Younger Self in Motherhood
When we harmonize the feminine and masculine energies within us, our consciousness rises, bringing a deeper sense of clarity, connection, and wholeness.
This inner alignment eases the journey of matrescence—the transition into motherhood that transforms us physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and socially.
When I look back on my first pregnancy, I now see how much I operated from a predominantly masculine energy—driven and focused on doing—in running my chiropractic practice. I kept trying to do more, because I believed that if I worked harder now, I could create more ease later.
In truth, however, I was hustling through pregnancy itself, mainly to secure a longer maternity leave. My intentions came from a good place, but I ended up feeling depleted, disconnected, and totally out of balance.
I wasn’t listening to the quiet wisdom within myself, nor could I hear the gentle signals my body was sending me. Something needed to change.
Second Pregnancy, the Inner Shift
With the help of practices like meditation, I discovered the wisdom of turning inward once again. I reconnected with my inner guidance, which led me to embrace softer, more feminine qualities, such as receptivity, intuition, trust, flow, creativity, and being rather than doing.
It was a beautiful shift that changed how I approached my second pregnancy—and life itself.
Healing, however, is not always linear. It often unfolds in layers and spirals, offering many opportunities to practice, to forget, to remember—and to integrate. This forgetting and returning is part of the human experience, which brings me to the third trimester of my second pregnancy.
We had found a wonderful new home with more space for our growing family, but we were also navigating the stress of moving. Although I avoided the heaviest of labors, like lifting boxes, I continued packing and cleaning for weeks. I distinctly remember feeling pressure on my pelvic floor, but because I was determined to settle in before welcoming our baby earthside, I pushed through once again, ignoring the messages my body was sending.
Still, my second birth was easeful, empowering, and pain-free. I was able to bask in that glorious postpartum love bubble. But frustration was just around the corner: I experienced a grade 2 prolapse, leaking, and a diastasis that would continue to affect me for years. Simply cooking a meal or walking would bring noticeable pressure on my pelvic floor.
My body was clearly speaking to me—and adapting in protective ways that I had initially resisted. Thus, I was invited to turn inward, to listen with curiosity, and to move toward a higher level of functioning.
Simply put, I had a choice: stay frustrated or shift into more expansive states.
Ultimately, my dismay and frustration became a catalyst for deep learning, healing, and sharing. It led me to hold space for mothers, supporting their connection with wholeness and inner wisdom, which is a role I cherish. It also inspired me to share information and resources with perinatal chiropractors, to help improve care for the postpartum moms in their practices.
For all of this, I have immense gratitude.
And yet, I can see how what I’ve learned along the way may have brought more ease and grace. So, with a touch of magic, I’d send this love letter to my younger self as she ventured into motherhood. I think she would have found it comforting and helpful. I hope you will, too.
Dear Younger Self,
I know you are feeling frustrated right now. Please know that you are loved, you are supported, and you will move through this.
In fact, you will emerge stronger than ever, with a deeper awareness of your body’s strength and resilience—and you will feel more ease and energy in your daily life.
You’ll spend time being active with your kids. You’ll stay on the yogic path and connect with many incredible souls. You’ll climb mountains again, backpack through Glacier National Park, and take backcountry ski tours with your husband. Along the way, you’ll become more attuned to your body and make helpful shifts in real time.
Indeed, your body’s signals have meaning. These are not signs of brokenness—they are invitations to well-being. There are reasons you are feeling pressure and noticing how your body adapts to it.
When functioning optimally, your diaphragm, core, and pelvic floor—also known as the “canister” or “container”—work together in seamless harmony. And you can help unlock this synergy with both knowledge and self-care.
First, the knowledge:
Having a resilient, adaptable nervous system is the foundation of overall well-being. It influences every aspect of how your body functions, how you respond to stress, and how you experience life—shaping the lens through which you view the world. You tend to do best with weekly wellness chiropractic care.
Breathing smoothly and expansively (with your front, back, and sides) will support your core and calm your being. Shallow breathing fuels anxiety; belly breathing alone creates too much forward pressure that can reinforce an unhealing diastasis. The way you breathe and the state of your nervous system also affect the tone of the pelvic floor. Therefore, slow down and notice how your diaphragm and pelvic floor move together with every inhale and exhale.
The way you carry yourself—how you stand, move, and align your body—shapes the function of your entire system. It affects where your bladder rests, how your diaphragm and pelvic floor respond, and how your core engages. Even the curves and mobility of your spine and ribs play a role.
Observe how pressure moves through your system as you breathe and move. What do you notice? If you see or feel doming, leaking, increased pressure, or heaviness, take it as a signal to pause or modify. Return to a gentler activity that supports core control and allows you to practice optimal breathing patterns.
Building balanced strength in the entire body, especially in the core and around the pelvis, is essential. Strengthen your transverse abdominis gently and consistently. And remember— your glutes and adductors are key for you.
And now, some important words on taking care of yourself:
Listen while you move. If standing to cook or walking brings pressure or leaking, tune in. Adjust your posture. Breathe fully. Trust what your body is telling you.
Seek support earlier. You will meet gifted pelvic floor physical therapists who embrace a salutogenic model of care, and who understand the synergy that happens when chiropractic and pelvic floor physical therapy work together.
Nurture rest. Begin a regular Yoga Nidra practice. It’s a beautiful, restful meditation where you soften, release tension, and replenish deeply. We hold so much unnecessary gripping— especially in the upper abdomen and pelvic floor—and this practice will invite gentleness back in.
Tune into the sacred. Every moment can be sacred when you bring a mindful presence to it. Slowing down will open pathways to joy, awareness, and flow states in motherhood. In yogic philosophy, we are made of layers—body, energy, mind, wisdom, and bliss. As you tend to each of these, you begin to remember the fullness of who you are.
Lead with your heart. Spiritual connection, compassion, and love—these will be your greatest guides in motherhood and life. Cultivate a sadhana (daily spiritual practice) where you tune into wholeness. This devotion will help you move from physical and mental gripping into expansive states of clarity, connection, and remembering.
Dear Younger Self, I love you. I honor you. And I’m grateful for the season you’re in, for how you’re nurturing our children, and for the path you are walking.
Motherhood, like life, flows between effort and surrender, remembering and forgetting, action and stillness. It invites us to attune to our inner wisdom, to soften into the moment, and to return again and again to what matters most. And through it all, we learn to trust the intelligence moving through us— always guiding us toward deeper wholeness and love.
With much love,
Your Future Self
