Conscious Choices
People might hear the phrase conscious parenting, conscious birth, or the conscious choice, and think it means making “the right” choices. The truth is, it has little to do with right vs. wrong, or good vs. bad. The conscious choice, a term that has echoed through Pathways for 25 years, has always carried a higher calling for something more.
Many of us today are relying desperately on authorities to make our choices and to solve our problems, without even knowing it. The authority may be another human being, a role model, a doctor, or a spiritual guru…or it may be an internal concept, philosophy or book that tells us what to think or do. We are guided by these authorities to tell us to “trust nature,” or “trust the science,” but when we are faced with the question “what should I do,” we are bound to think and depend on these internal and external authorities for the answer, without seeing another way. And in that state, our hopes may slowly dissolve in a prolonged sense of waiting…often with an element of perpetual desperation.
Right now, I can bring my focus on the present moment.
“The Conscious Choice,” that call for something greater, represents a shift. It brings us from the question, what “should” I do (where our thinking revolves around those who “know best”) to the far more relevant and inspiring question: what can “I do” in this moment, for myself, my family, my community.
Such a shift brings us into a space of greater possibility; the beginning of a growth spurt in our potential as individuals and a species. This shift often begins with the rather unremarkable recognition that here, right now, I can choose to breathe a little deeper… Right now, I can bring my focus on the present moment and explore the potential for a new insight, a new way of framing a situation in life; a new way to live, act, and respond. At times, this can empower us to make the tremendously freeing decision to consciously “let go” for a higher knowing.
Suspending the reactive tendency to despair over the pressing question, what should I do, we begin to enter the exploratory, even playful mindset of self-reliance. From this mindset, we awaken to the truth of what is possible. And so much is truly possible!
In Pathways, we have discussed the importance of learning skills for birth and parenting. From this standpoint, a conscious birth is about living and acting from this question of “what can I do, for myself, right now.” Whether a family is pregnant or in the transition stage of giving birth, they can honor this mindset of self-reliance, and unveil an entire dimension of freedom that exists in every moment. If we learn skills and techniques for the situation we are in, and if we practice these skills to grow our sense of confidence, we may find that our self-reliance is greater than we ever imagined.
Then every relationship in life changes, fundamentally. The people, ideas, or principles which may have governed our minds or choices, become neutral or even irrelevant. Good vs. bad becomes a relic of outdated thinking. A serious doctor with foreboding bad news, becomes just another human being—not a purveyor of “objective truth,” but a person (a person, mind you, who sits on the toilet in the morning like the rest of us, before he issues his diagnoses!).
For any relationship in life where we depend on each other in mutual trust, that relationship becomes balanced, owing to an equal, if not greater, trust in ourselves. Respect grows, and our humanity becomes connected and alive.
Our hope for this issue is to encourage a momentary pause in our busy lives, and in that pause reveal a unique way forward for a more balanced, fulfilling perspective. The articles arranged here serve a reflective purpose, to remind each of us that when we take up this call in the moment to make the conscious choice, in that moment, we are truly free.
